The day after

Am siting on Scarborough beach waiting for train (not that the train stops here you understand). It is odd!

Day 15 - Last Day pt3

Obviously after the forest was some moorland, with the guidebooks exemplary directions indicating I should walk towards "a solitary tree" : I thought of destroying said tree but decided it would be unfair to anyone behind (having said that Sherpa Kerr and I are invariably the last on any given day (I did shout at some people who were behind us for that very reason but they looked a bit foreign so I gave up)).

Anyway . It proceeded much like anything in the last two weeks, perm 3 from 4, bog, mud, bog or bog, We arrived at the coast several hours later, not that was the end of course, even though you had reached your ultimate destination that is the north sea you must continue to trudge along some windswept barren crappy bit of coastline as there may be one chance in several billion you might see a Seagull. Pleased i  was not but after what seemed like hours (it seemed like that because it was) Robbin Hoods Bay came into view (again, not into view like you had stumbled upon it but into view like something that was still very far away might). We trudged in and after visiting our b&b proceeded down to Wainwrights Bar to meet Ray,have a pint and some well earned nosh. Now I think I am the most tired I have been for approximately 43 years and I'm going to have a lie down. Ill try to upload some more pictures on the train tomorrow but for now, its goodnight from me :-)

Day 15 - Last day pt2

Leaving Gosmont we were forced to walk up the most evil of hills ; with hindsight it was obvious from the name what was to come but on the coast to coast you tend to loose all but the basic "where is my next pint/dinner/bed" - anyway, it was pants.

Strangely there was some Moorland at the top - I have discovered that Mr Wainwright is obsessed with Moorland, if there were a 200m path to somewhere he will detour you for 31Km just to go through 2 minutes of Moorland, in a word, he's a bastard. If you've seen one grouse you've seen them all. Luckily there was a beautiful woodland walk (uphill obviously) that led to Foss Falls, and hidden therein a 20m waterfall with a handy tea room next door serving giant Scones with Cream and Jam: -)  I decided it would be rude not to stop,so we did.

Day 15 - Last day pt1

Lordy, the final day,what an end to a massive schlep across England. We awoke in the Broom Hotel,only a tenner more than a dogey b&b but full of class and proper poached eggs for brekie. A short walk to Egton bridge with the Manor House and donkey sanctuary following the river to Grosmont and its steam trains (via the smelly fields covered in animal poo, a theme for this years holiday). More later

Day 15 - Finished the bastard

Arrived, just going to do the pebble in Sea getting pissed bit.more later

Day 14 - I can see the sea!

Luckily we got a lift up the hill back to the Lion Inn from the Feversham Arms Barman (I say barman, He was the cook,cleaner and gardner too from what I can gather).

There was a little bit of road walking up on the Moor and a visit to Fat Betty (imaged below) - some sort of cross thing that people leave food offerings on - I don't know why but will look it up when we get home - We decided to leave a banana lest we attracted the wrath of the odd looking thing and carry on out merry way.

A little later we got our proper view of the North Sea which bolstered our spirits and resolve - it wasn't exactly close but not exactly far either - it looked about 25 miles away,which it was. We stopped for lunch at Glaisdale although the shop was bit bare I popped into the butchers next door for a home made pork pie which was really rather good. Sherpa Kerr fashioned Cheese Rolls out of,well, cheese and rolls.

A bit of a stint through some Riverside woods followed although undulations of upness and downess were not welcome. A luckily discovered shortcut over a river on stepping stones brought us to Broom House Hotel which is really rather swank although in our usual style we've trashed the room after about 15 seconds getting into it and it looks like a herd of cows has been living here for a week.

Our last day tomorrow is a bit of a mare at 17 1/2 miles although we've arranged to meet people in the Wainwright Bar so we have to do it before they shut!

Day 13 - The dismantled railway.

Daves B&B was indeed an excellent place - he drove all 8 guests to the pub for dinner which was quite good grub and cheap for a change - I had what is called a parmo, some sort of escalope thing covered in cheese.    

It was a thankfully easy day with just one evil mountain type thing to climb up but luckily it was right at the beginning. It ended up a bit trudgy as the view wasn't good as we we're right in the middle of the Moor which meant you couldn't see any views. In fact the only thing you could see was the occasional grouse sticking its head up from the gorse and emitting what sounds like a chuckle in your direction.

A bit later on the trail joined a dismantled railway which was used from 1850 - 1929 for moving quaried stone. It made for a very fast pace and we arrived at the Lion Inn at 12.30 - ridiculously early considering the place we were staying in just off the moor didnt open until six - what could we do stranded in a pub for 5 1/2 hours.

By the time we rolled down the hill (accompanied by Ray who had caught us up) we were a little bit tispy if truth be told - the only thing to be done was to carry on drinking. The Feversham Arms in Church Houses (Although I will now only refer to of as Church Mouses) is a wonderful little find - although the beds were comically narrow but given the smallness of the place not surprising.

Tomorrow is the penultimate day which is bad as it means its near the end of jollies but I think my feet are looking forward to it - also 15 days of different hotels and b&b's everyday can be oddly wearing.

Day 12 - Dazed and confused

I don't really know where we are in the great scheme of things - I think we're somewhere near Middlesborough ; I also don't know when it is - not sure of the day of week as we've walking for what seems an eternity and its all a bit blurry ; date wise I'm sure it's late teens - it's definitely still May.

Osmotherly is a most recommended place,particularly the Golden Lion - it's just been refurbished and the rooms are spanking new,and the food has got to be eaten to be believed (it's not cheap mind but boy is it good). Breakfast was however shambolic but you can't have everything.

We left following the recommended shortcut back to the way and I was most pleased to see a microwave relay complex at the top of the hill (as those who know me will attest I become skittish after being away from high technology for any length of time). Naturally I attempted to gain access utilizing Sherpa Kerrs BT pass but they had the good sense to provide two layers of barbed wire between me and the card reader - next time they won't be so lucky.

It was an excellent days walk as the coast to coast path joins the Cleavland Way which takes you through stunning bluebell filled woods and then up to breezy Moor tops with quite frankly stunning views of Yorkshire 360 degrees around.

There is much upness and downess towards the end of the day which is a little draining but the discovery of "Lord Stones Cafe" (you'll need to Google it) was a revelation in itself - more crumpets vicar is all I will say.

As we arrived at Clay Bank top a car pulled up and as the passanger window was wound down I was ready to flee thinking Kidnap attempt  but the enquiring voice asking "are you staying at Dromonby Hill Farm" was miraculously serendipitous for in fact we were. Squeezing in with our fellow b&b-mates proved awkward for reasons thrice : 1. There were 4 passangers and out landlord driver Dave in an ickle biddy motor 2. Sherpa Kerr and I are hardly what you qwould call on the small side and 3. & most importantly  we had not been properly introduced!

Said B&B is eclectic ; in fact it's downright odd. Its a massive building with rooms that were fitted out late 50s by the look of them, but it's quality furniture that wouldn't look out of place in Brideshead ; in fact the whole building wouldn't look out of place as film set - although I fear the film would be "Carry On running a B&B" - I will report on the morrow as to what happens but I think this will be one of the more memorable places I stay in :-)

Nature Interlude

Does anyone know what the imaged below field crop is - there's lots of it about but we're at a loss as to what it is?

Day 11 - I do like a nice pub & Found One

Note to farmers - Please don't put barbed wire on top of styles where people put their hands - it does hurt and make me bleed - both not things on my top ten list of fun.

We liked Marys farm, not only a cat but an insane dog soon befriended by Sherpa Kerr. Her husband was born there 60 something years ago and they've made it a really nice place to stay,top marks to you Mary!

As we had done the hedge transit yesterday it took that off todays walk which made it short and sweet. The scenery was a bit dull if truth be told,its an incredibly flat part with farms as far as the eye can see. We did meet some dogs, the first of which wasn't keen to see us. Then we had to dash across a train track, luckily train free at the time and then some more schlepping round field borders stepping over dead things (notably a largish deer today). I'm not particularly squeamish but you do forget what goes in the country. We had lunch in a dodgy looking cafe at a petrol station by the A1: unfortunately you have to get across these things (bridges are for Southerners) which did without incident: I preferred the railway dash myself.

The village of Ingleby Arncliffe/Cross (they have two different names but they're only 200m apart ) are quaint but nothing to write home about although Sherpa Kerr purchased a rather fine wooden vase turned from Pear tree wood from a local artisan. We then had to negotiate a rather steep climb into Arncliffe Wood which was too steep after so much flat ,this made me an unhappy bunny but I soon cheered up when I got to the top. As accommodation is a bit limited here abouts we've come about 20 minutes off trail to the village of Osmotherly which is rather splendid. Three pubs (I'm sitting in the Golden Lion at the mo typing this with medicinal cider for my aching feet) and actually this is the first time I've been up to date with blog writing as I'm normally a few days behind due to no phone/internet access - I think another pint to celebrate is in order, Cheers!

Day 10 - Laundry Latency

After a really good Thai dinner in one of Richmond's finest eating houses our hotel which had been selected from the many available due to their laundry facility advised us that they had a bedding backlog and might not be able to do it. If you're walking this isn't good news as everything you've worn is still wet and has been hanging round in your luggage for the best part of a week. Think forgeting to wash your p.e. kit and you'll get the olfactory picute. Luckily mine was just about ready on time but Sherpa Kerrs sock collection was half way through a spin cycle when the baggage moving company (also called Sherpa) arrived. Luckily we were able to book it to catch up with us in two days time at Osmotherly so it got sorted in the end.

Due to this and the purchase of additional socks we left Richmond quite late and continued our progress down the river Swale. After a nice picnic lunch near Catterick Bridge we carried on the longish slog towards Streetlam. A lot of the days walking was on on roads,luckily these are really quiet (3 cars an hour sort of quiet). Having been walking of soft grassy type surfaces hard tarmacy surfaces do make your feet hurt though so even though you are yomping through the miles it is ouchy. We reached the White Swan Pub in Danby Wiske (which was a couple of clicks before where we were staying) and were very good and only had coffee,aren't we good. Our shortcut to Lovesome Hill Farm was along a footpath which had probably not been used for 3 years and required that we climb through a hedge (for real) but we were soon arrived at the farm where Mary took pity upon our dishevelled selves and furnished us with home made oatey biccies and proper hot tea made with leaves and not bags. Oscar the Cat was guarding our luggage in the bunkhouse and soon took a liking to us and kindly showed us to our room which Sherpa Kerr was happy to note was furnished with "proper mugs" and not "poncy teacups".

Day 9 - A woodland walk

Reeth to Richmond really is a doddle, even the sun came out (for almost 60 seconds). We quickly located the nuns steps just outside Reeth (pictured below) which is a stone path laid from the village Marrick down to the priory although I think it was put there so those nuns with dirty habbits could nip up to the pub, without getting dirty habbits, if you get what I mean.

Having avoided the stampede of cows who were having some sort of strop after being moved to a different field and the scary tea room in the village of Marske there was a steep climb to Applegate scar,although there weren't any apples, gates or scars.

Through Whitecliffe woods and you're practically in Richmond. It's probably the biggest place on the entire route and is a bit of shock compared to the sleepy two horse villages so far (Note to city folk - horse : quadraped common to these parts,notable for their lack of a sense of humour and inability to sing in tune).

Day 8 - Riverside ramble

Totally different landscape now,gone are the evil up and downs of the lakes to be replaced with gentle riverside scenery featuring ducks and ducklings and literally trillions of really small rabbits.

CThere are also quite a few dead rabbits and judging by the number of empty shotgun cartridges all over I suspect that they weren't suicides (rabbits lacking the manual dexterity to operate the weapons). We did have a little bit of moor top to navigate and I foolishly disregarded the signage about the ground nesting birds as I was repeatedly mobbed by Lapwings who had misinterpreted my bumbling along as some preemptive strike on their nests. It's their own fault though given they have 450,000,000 hectares on which to nest but choose to put them on the 4 square meters around the C2C path.

Arrival in Reeth was nice and early at 4 ; it's practically a city what with 3 pubs and a fire station no less. Giant pizzas were scoffed although it was a bit of a late night bar wise as they seemed to forget to shut are eleven - such are the ways of the country. Tomorrow we're off to Richmond in Yorkshire - a veritable Metropolis, Rumour has it they even have a Boots!

Nature Interlude

Flora and Fauna of the North
Below is pictured an aminal which appears common in these parts - an local person advised that I was incorrect in referring to them as mini-sheep, sheeplets or kittens ; apparently they are called "limbs". Naturally I took his information with a pinch of salt particularly when he described a process by which the "limb" emerges fully formed from the back end of an ewe and proceeds to consume some elixir from said ewes rudders. I can confirm however that the limbs are skittish, easily distracted and utterly flightless, although I think the wings may appear at a later date after the "limb" emerges from its cocoon as a fully formed Sheep. Although a city boy I am learning quickly,although I am confused as to why my sightings of a Lion near Pattrdale were so quickly dismissed .

Day 7 - Nine Standards, not evening standard

Whoops, a quick geographical correction,Shap and Kirkby Stephen are in the Eden Valley which is technically in Cumbria,soz :-)

Had a brilliant lie in today which was really needed after the Shape Schlepp (I declare it now to be the official name) at the Croglin Castle Hotel ; brilliant place if not a bit creaky. Visited the nice bakery in KS before setting out rather late at about 10.30 up a much more civilized gradient,although it was a bit soggy for a little bit it wasn't too bad. We met up with Ray who we had seen a few times en route and we walked together up to the nine standards which is,well a big lot of big stones on top of the hill (oddly there are nine lots of stones).

Weather at the top deteriorated (obviously) and it was a bit tricky to see and it was boggy beyond belief. Luckily the path is well worn although difficult to progress in places. As the day is so short (comparatively) we took the long way down and had lunch in what we think was a grouse shooters hut ; it was quite a welcome respite and nice to get out of the wind and rain. We pitched up at Keld Lodge at about 4, Ray who was a little ahead had got the beer in which was brilliant as we came through the door. Keld Lodge has without doubt the finest showers known to exist on Earth. Additionally and at no extra charge they have rainbows.

Day 6 - Far, very very far

Once you get to Shap you're officially out of the lakes and in Yorkshire. All this means in reality is that you're phone might work and everything in the pub will be half the price ; yay for Yorkshire!

Shap is a funny town,its very long and thin and has a few OK pubs and a chippy. It also has a co-op, being London folk we're spoilt for shops but up here you learn to count your blessings.

We stayed in New Ing Lodge which is cheep and cheerful and has a good breakfast all for 25 quid. It was also packed with loads of what I can only assume were the over 60s Ghent Ramblers association - every time you opened a door there was a geriatric Dutch person smiling politely,even in the wardrobes.

The days walk is long at just about 20 miles - there are none of the crazy lakes style climbs which is a blessing, you can only take so many razor sharp slippery rocks.

There is a lot of walking over quite bleak moorland and its such a contrast from lakeland it comes a bit of a shock. Luckily we met up with the Dutch support vehicle which was waiting by the roadside to refuel our European cousins and we had a cup of odd Dutch tea and a biccy which was most welcome.

By the time we got to the hill over Kirkby Stephen we were on our last legs but some shrewd map and compass jiggery pokery by Sherpa Kerr cut of the last few Km and got us into the Croglin Castle Hotel just after 6. I like this place as I've stayed here before - its old,creaky and eclectic (bit like me really) and only 25 quid a night and does brilliant food. I had a pie;and it was the best one I've had in ages (and I've had a lot). Tomorrow's trek is a slightly More sensible 14 miles and ends in Keld where the phone probably won't work so I might disappear

Day 5 - Up and then back down

Today was a bit of a mare. The stay in White Lion in the middle of Patterdale was excellent,huge portions of yummy food (I had a pie by the way) and copious amounts of Strongbow and to top it all a nice room on top of the pub,quality! We decided on an early start on the 16 mile high climb to Shap over Kirsty Pike and set off just after 9 after visiting the local shop for supplies of Kendall mint cake and the like.

Walking up Angletarn Pike was a hard slog,Sherpa Kerr's keen sense of direction was helpful as I was advised "you see the top there,just walk towards that". The wind was picking up and moved from blustering to something that should of had an accompanying Benny Hill music as we approached Satura Crag, then we were met by people coming the other way. Apparently they had been waiting at the top of the ridge for the wind to die down but had given up as it seemed to be getting worse.

Naturally we poo-pooed their lack of fortitude and continued but as we approached our poo pooing was thrown in our face for it seemed Satan himself had climbed to the top and positioned his rectum in our general direction and proceeded to fart out great gusts of wind at Hypersonic velocities.

We decided to give it half an hour to see if it would calm but it didn't. Quite frankly watching people getting blown off their feet 600m up on a wet rock covered ridge was a bit scary ; when the three burly Fireman who were up there waiting went past us going back down we required approximately 0.003 seconds to decide that they had the right idea.

We all schlepped back down the hill and went back to the pub. Luckily we were in time for the two o'clock bus to Pentith and via another cheeky pub stop to Shape. Nice town but very stretched out. Tomorrow is a Mega Slog for 20 miles over to Kirkby Stephen.

Although its a shame to miss out about 10 miles in the middle I've done it before and I prefer not to be blown off a 600m summit so take that Mr Wainwright!

Day 4 - Easy Peasy

Luckily Day Four of the Coast to Coast is what they call a rest day ; that doesn't mean you'll actually get any rest - it just means you don't walk as far as normal. If truth be told it's quite easy - a pedestrian 8 miles over the top of Gisedale Tarn which is a slightly less hideous climb than everthing else (with a comedy hill in the middle called Great Tongue for added amusement). Weather was all right too (only a few showers) so there was much putting on and then taking off of the waterproofs - although nothing is truely waterproof in the Lake district, more of a damp resistant layer for the ten or so minutes at the start of every day.

Walking through the forest at the end of the day is really rather pleasant - Sherpa Kerr advises that it was a carnivourous forrest as opposed to a devious one but being a city boy I'm hard pushed to tell the difference.

The day ends in the rather splendid White Lion Inn in Patterdale (Well, I say ends it was only 2.30) where I though it my duty to check that the Strongbow wasn't poisionous, for the benefit of my fellow travellers you understand�

Day 3 - The evil that is Lining Crag

Day three started well. The weather was tolerable (code for wet but not evily so) and the climb up to the evil twin summits of doom was really rather OK.

I should say that as last time I walked up it I had to stop every 200m and have a biscuit,this time it was 300m so some clear progress there. Not to say that the climb up lining pass was any less evil,there was frequently much swearing and general bad mouthing of Mr Wainwright en route, luckily the troop of nuns were out of earshot. If you like walking through rivers then this is for you.

It was boggy at the top,actually everywhere is boggy come to think of it but its quite a quick descent into Grassmere which features such luxurious delights as a co-op and a pub and the nicest looking b&b you ever did see. Tomorrow is the shortest on the route praise be.

Day 2 - Onward and Upward

Apologies for the delay,3G technology has yet to reach the lake district it seems,if truth be known 2G seems out of the question most of the time,this is in fact being posted by two tin cans and a length of string,quite a lot of string.

After the storm pyrotechnics of last night this morning was surprising clear. The shepherds arms hotel gets a middling vote,their concept of en-suite being different from the rest of humanity,if I had to give it a rating it would be "tollerable" at best.

We got to the most groovy Black Sail YHA missing the rain but as we ascended Loft Beck (which will now be referred to as "Bastard Near Vertical Cliff of Death from Hell") comedy winds and rain arrived and it was Mr Soggy pants all over again.

The staff at Honister Slate Mines cafe seem to have retained their usual charm (they make McDonald's staff look compassionate by comparison) but they did provide Coffee and chocolate things so I have decided that they may yet live.

The Royal Oak hotel in Rosthwaite is an altogether better experience although its compulsory dining is odd it's done very well indeed,in fact Sherpa Kerr only took out 2 waitresses on his head long stampede for the cheese board. Tomorrow's challange is the Lining Crag,although it is probably best describe as the next Bastard Near Vertical Cliff of Death from Hell.

Day 1 - Sunshine on a rainy day

Day 1 - Sunshine on a rainy day
It's a game of two halves and today was similarly split a twain! Having survived the torrential downpours of the am,the pm has been a completely different water boiling container of fish for the intrepid voyagers who are in fact myself and the beetroot coloured sherpa Kerr are now hideous sunburned to within an inch of our lives. Arrival at the Shepherds arms hotel was indeed most welcome as was the beer garden although now as the sun goes down we are now entertained by the most veracious of thunder storms. The barmaid has in fact closed all the curtains and is threatening to lock up and hide under her bed. I thought this a reaction to the thunder but now I believe it was a reaction to our good selves; I think it may be time for bed! As you can see, I had pie!

Day 1 - Here comes the rain again

Lunchtime on Day one finds your intrepid duo at the Moor End walkers pop in cafe for rather good cheese and onion toasties .

Luckily the rain has stopped for the last couple of hours and there's even a glimmer of sunlight : however we must take these small blessings where we can as the weather forecast lady was using words like torrential and downpour, I may have to ring the BBC and have words.

Day 0 - Low Calorie Dining

Well it was rude not to

Day 0 - We're here

Right on queue, just as the train pulled into the delightful little seaside town of St. Bees, no town is too large, and village too small, henceforth it shall be known as a tillage (or vown if you prefer) ; the heavens did exactly what you'd expect and proceeded to dump 30,000 liters of chilly Atlantic water on my bald little head.

Fortunately the builders of the Albert Hotel had the amazing foresight to put it about 5m (although I expect they thought in yards) from the station,shrewd were our Victorian ancestors. From the outside it looks a bit Dodge if truth be told but inside is a whole different kettle and goodly pleased was I upon being told we've got two plush twins as opposed to the attic singles expected. And they've also knocked three quid off the price which I think it only right I go and spend in their bar right away, it's the polite thing to do!

Day 0 - All aboard

I do enjoy traveling on the train, you get to look at stuff and have cans of beer although I have wisely abstained on this occasion in preparation for the commencement of the coast to coast walk.

I am currently not hurting towards Cumbria as the train has decided it needs a rest just outside Darlington: the East Coast train commandant or whatever they are called this week doesn't know what the problem is but she seems certain It's not bad, having travelled on East Coast trains before I am not sure I share her optimism but as I'm on holiday I'll give her the benefit of the doubt.

I have just received a telegram from Sherpa Kerr who is following on a train driven personally by Richard Branson that he is already en-dampened by monsoon like rains before he has departed Das Kapital; an omen perchance?  Only time and shoe leather will tell.